A Letter To a Love I Lost

You find a man
Not just any man
A man with depth
A depth of knowledge
A knowledge full of character
So you FOUND a man
You found adventure
You found ambition and love
LOVE
LOVE and LOVE
But was it LOVE?
Love so extraordinarily blinded
Love so beautifully chaotic
Love so tenderly withheld
I never loved so forward like this
I never had so much optimism in love like this
I never leapt headfirst into love like this
But you know what wasn’t enough?
~ The forwardness
~ The optimism
~ The head first leap
Why?
Because you weren’t ready.
You weren’t ready to let go
Let go of your vices
The vices of dishonesty, deception, disloyalty, devaluation and disregard.
You just weren’t ready
And what do I do?
Be ready for you
Filling in, in all the spaces you fell short
Filling in, in all the spaces you could not
I became more honest
I became more loyal
I became more transparent
I showed more appreciation
Apparently you can’t water a plastic flower and expect it to grow
THAT WAS IT
My MORE wasn’t ever going to be enough
For what leaves a woman who does all the work for a man?
For how far does the river run, when its intention was never to get to the ocean.
My mistake was sitting at the beach, waiting.